It is important for all step parents to know that they must proceed with caution in their new role as a step parent in their new family. Many times these children have lost a parent through an accident or a separation of their parents. No matter what the circumstances, raising step children is a situation that takes patience and adaptability.
The age of your stepchildren will play an important role in defining your relationship with them. If the child is very young, a toddler or even younger, then it's very likely that the child will eventually think of you as their "real" parent. When you are considering marrying someone who already has children, it's important to think seriously about what your responsibilities will be ahead of time. If your step-kids are older, you will most likely become their friend rather than a parent. Are your step-kids in their teens? If so, your spouse will most likely keep the role as parent and you will have an ancillary role as friend. The interactions in every family are different. The ages of the stepchildren will be pivotal to how you interact with them.
Patience will be one of the main virtues you bring to your role as a stepparent. It takes a while for a stepchild to accept a new parent figure into their life; so don't look for immediate rapport with the child. Whatever the circumstances that separated your stepchild from the biological parent whose place you have assumed, they are likely to resist you at first. Keep in mind that part of the reason for this resistance and/or resentment is simply the fact that they miss their original parent. A lot of new stepparents try too hard to get accepted by their stepchild. It's important to be consistent, but equally important not to force yourself on the child. In time, the child will relax and accept you. This will come more easily if you just assure them you don't plan to replace their biological parent, but you are there for them whenever they need you.
Although most problems in these types of settings are not that bad, one particular problem can cause a great deal of pain and discomfort. The problem is what your new stepchildren will call you. Whether they address you as mom or dad is an issue that can become very tense. Just by saying these words, the implication is that you are trying to replace their mom or dad, which should not be your agenda. After you've been around for a while, especially if the children are young, they may want to call you mom or dad, but let them do this in their own time. The best thing to do is to let them call you by your first name.
For instance, a simple rule is that the biological parent should always have command over decisions made regarding the step children. The step parent, even though he or she is not the bio mom or dad, they need to be able to share their opinion with what is occurring in the children's lives. To show the step children that both parents are on the same page, discussions that are heated need to be discussed in private. Building a relationship with the step children is your first step in moving toward learning your new role as their parent. The above tips can be useful to make this transition easier, but you also need the ability to be flexible and go with the flow in a new family environment. Being accepted by the step children in this new family environment will come with time, especially if you do your best to be a great role model and are very patient.
If you genuinely wish to make sure you have a very good relationship with all the members of your family, then it's important to take holidays together. Going on a getaway can do miracles for any family member, as it gives you so much quality time and energy to appreciate some actions together. Begin planning your next family holiday today.
The age of your stepchildren will play an important role in defining your relationship with them. If the child is very young, a toddler or even younger, then it's very likely that the child will eventually think of you as their "real" parent. When you are considering marrying someone who already has children, it's important to think seriously about what your responsibilities will be ahead of time. If your step-kids are older, you will most likely become their friend rather than a parent. Are your step-kids in their teens? If so, your spouse will most likely keep the role as parent and you will have an ancillary role as friend. The interactions in every family are different. The ages of the stepchildren will be pivotal to how you interact with them.
Patience will be one of the main virtues you bring to your role as a stepparent. It takes a while for a stepchild to accept a new parent figure into their life; so don't look for immediate rapport with the child. Whatever the circumstances that separated your stepchild from the biological parent whose place you have assumed, they are likely to resist you at first. Keep in mind that part of the reason for this resistance and/or resentment is simply the fact that they miss their original parent. A lot of new stepparents try too hard to get accepted by their stepchild. It's important to be consistent, but equally important not to force yourself on the child. In time, the child will relax and accept you. This will come more easily if you just assure them you don't plan to replace their biological parent, but you are there for them whenever they need you.
Although most problems in these types of settings are not that bad, one particular problem can cause a great deal of pain and discomfort. The problem is what your new stepchildren will call you. Whether they address you as mom or dad is an issue that can become very tense. Just by saying these words, the implication is that you are trying to replace their mom or dad, which should not be your agenda. After you've been around for a while, especially if the children are young, they may want to call you mom or dad, but let them do this in their own time. The best thing to do is to let them call you by your first name.
For instance, a simple rule is that the biological parent should always have command over decisions made regarding the step children. The step parent, even though he or she is not the bio mom or dad, they need to be able to share their opinion with what is occurring in the children's lives. To show the step children that both parents are on the same page, discussions that are heated need to be discussed in private. Building a relationship with the step children is your first step in moving toward learning your new role as their parent. The above tips can be useful to make this transition easier, but you also need the ability to be flexible and go with the flow in a new family environment. Being accepted by the step children in this new family environment will come with time, especially if you do your best to be a great role model and are very patient.
If you genuinely wish to make sure you have a very good relationship with all the members of your family, then it's important to take holidays together. Going on a getaway can do miracles for any family member, as it gives you so much quality time and energy to appreciate some actions together. Begin planning your next family holiday today.
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