As you've long assumed, the risk of lawn gnomes has been spreading. What was only a concern for north American suburbia has now spread to the shores of Rio de Janeiro. Copacabana and Ipanema shall no longer be safe. Likely, your flats, apartments and hotels are about to be overrun, if they haven't already. The garden gnomes are here on holiday with a few days to kill, literally. Here are a handful of tips on surviving the assault before they are creeping all over the real estate that you just happen to be taking up.
Firstly, you need to be familiar with your exit strategies for the apartments or hotels that you might be residing at. Practice exiting from a first-story window. You may need to jump from your accommodations if a hoard of gnomes are creeping around your flats. Don't forget to commit to memory the layouts. Those little bastards have been known to cut power lines. Also, be sure and have a second bicycle hidden. Lawn gnomes always disable your car rentals and also your bicycle before their invasion. And finally, don't forget cardio. That bicycle won't do you any good in the event you can't peddle your heart out.
If escape from your apartments or hotels are not an option, you will be left with hand to gnome combat. Keep a weapon in every room so you always have something available to fight back. Also, get in the habit of dressing in layers. Their little blades and arrows will have a harder time breaking through layers of clothes. This will make accommodations for at least some security.
Also, you can't forget to practice for the approaching doom of a garden gnome assault in Rio de Janeiro. Practice rising from bed quickly in attack mode. One hand to extends to for a flashlight and the other should have already got a weapon in hand to club or stab the little demons. One might also look at rentals of some robust firepower.
No one ever anticipated for this kind of onslaught to occur in Rio de Janeiro, so good luck. No one expected that the garden gnomes would be travelling south. So it looks like you will need to cut your vacation short.
Copacabana and Ipanema will both soon be creeping with them. It should be noted that none of the tips in this guide guarantees your survival in the eventuality of a brutal lawn gnome attack, but it should at least give you a fighting chance. Good hunting and stay safe!
Firstly, you need to be familiar with your exit strategies for the apartments or hotels that you might be residing at. Practice exiting from a first-story window. You may need to jump from your accommodations if a hoard of gnomes are creeping around your flats. Don't forget to commit to memory the layouts. Those little bastards have been known to cut power lines. Also, be sure and have a second bicycle hidden. Lawn gnomes always disable your car rentals and also your bicycle before their invasion. And finally, don't forget cardio. That bicycle won't do you any good in the event you can't peddle your heart out.
If escape from your apartments or hotels are not an option, you will be left with hand to gnome combat. Keep a weapon in every room so you always have something available to fight back. Also, get in the habit of dressing in layers. Their little blades and arrows will have a harder time breaking through layers of clothes. This will make accommodations for at least some security.
Also, you can't forget to practice for the approaching doom of a garden gnome assault in Rio de Janeiro. Practice rising from bed quickly in attack mode. One hand to extends to for a flashlight and the other should have already got a weapon in hand to club or stab the little demons. One might also look at rentals of some robust firepower.
No one ever anticipated for this kind of onslaught to occur in Rio de Janeiro, so good luck. No one expected that the garden gnomes would be travelling south. So it looks like you will need to cut your vacation short.
Copacabana and Ipanema will both soon be creeping with them. It should be noted that none of the tips in this guide guarantees your survival in the eventuality of a brutal lawn gnome attack, but it should at least give you a fighting chance. Good hunting and stay safe!
About the Author:
Rio de Janeiro Properties is a real estate organization in Brazil featuring deluxe apartments rio de ganeiro. If you're considering obtaining high end real estate ipanema, they are able to moreover assist you.
